Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. ~Confucius

Welcome To Basherville ! ! ! Welcome To Basherville ! ! ! Welcome To Basherville ! ! ! Welcome To Basherville ! ! !

You are not connected. Please login or register

Jokes That Make You Blush...

Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 2 of 6]

26 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:47 am

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare

View user profile

27 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:17 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
I'm passing this on to my Dad. They'll like it down at the retirement community!

View user profile

28 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:32 am

Are you sending to to him as a joke or as a recommendation?

View user profile

29 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:39 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
As a recommendation! He's only 90 & my Stepmom is only 86!

View user profile

30 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:58 am

Is your Dad a Veteran?

View user profile

31 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:37 pm

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Yes. Army WW II.

View user profile

32 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:16 pm

Bless him! I'm going to send you an Email tomorrow with some information for him.

View user profile

33 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:09 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Thank you! I'll check my emails. Thank your Dad for being a vet, too!

View user profile

34 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Mar 18, 2014 4:01 pm

Sent...

View user profile

35 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:33 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
So far, they're pretty independent, but this last year has had some health problems come up for them so the program is something for them to keep in mind.

View user profile

36 Today's Word Is : Fluctuations on Mon Nov 10, 2014 3:46 pm

I was at my bank today. There was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was very irritated ...
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I only get hunat eighty?
Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said,
"Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too."

View user profile

37 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Nov 11, 2014 6:34 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
LOL! I gotta send this to my Asian friends! They'll love it!

View user profile

38 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Dec 23, 2014 12:12 am

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots beautiful diamond earrings and walks over to inspect them. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her – good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, "What is the price of these lovely earrings?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at them, you’re going to sh*t when I tell you the price!"

View user profile

39 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Dec 23, 2014 6:00 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
LOL! This is another one I'll pass on to brighten peoples day!

View user profile

40 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Dec 23, 2014 9:52 am

Of course, that doesn't happen in Basherville because there's not farting in Basherville. The only stink here is from Stripes!

View user profile

41 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Dec 24, 2014 6:59 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
A bowl of my Christmas Eve chili with sauerkraut will add to Stripe's stink tonight! Santa might need a gas mask! Twisted Evil

View user profile

42 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Dec 24, 2014 10:37 am

Oh Oh! affraid You're sounding like Ejack again!

View user profile

43 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Thu Dec 25, 2014 5:23 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
The world is safe. I switched the menu to a more traditional Christmas meal. No chili!

A Very Merry Christmas to everyone!!

View user profile

44 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:41 am

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist, Debra , and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So one of the ladies approached Debra very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green astringent persimmons and rub them on her nipples and over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make her mouth pucker up, and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while.
The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tew....

View user profile

45 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Jan 04, 2015 6:48 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
LOL!!! The perfect joke for Sunday morning!

View user profile

46 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sat Mar 21, 2015 6:38 pm

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
A father goes out and buys a robot that detects lies and slaps the liar.
He decides to test it on his family.
He asks his son, "Did you do your homework today?"
The boy says' "Yes!"
The robot slaps him.

"Okay", says the Dad, "What did you REALLY do?"
"I watched a movie over at Jimmy's," says the red faced lad.
"Which movie did you see?" inquires the father.
"Snow White, " the boy blubbers.
The robot slaps the kid again.
"WHICH MOVIE', demands the Dad.
"It was porn, Dad!"
"Boy, when I was your age I never looked at that stuff," fumes the father.
The robot slaps the Dad.

The wife laughs and says, "He certainly is his father's son!"
The Robot rolls over and slaps the wife.

View user profile

47 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Mar 22, 2015 9:57 am

lol!

View user profile

48 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Mar 24, 2015 6:57 am

AlainM3C

avatar
Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Reilly was drinkin' a pint with Finnegan at the pub.

"Ya know, Finnegan, I've been tryin' ta get me wife to quit staying up until 2 in the mornin' every night and it's drivin' me crazy."

Finnegan says, "Reilly, why is yer wife stayin' up so late and not sleepin' as she should be?!"

"The silly woman insists on waitin' up fer me ta get back from the pub!"

View user profile

49 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Fri Sep 04, 2015 7:11 pm

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

View user profile

50 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sat Sep 05, 2015 2:36 am

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

View user profile

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 2 of 6]

Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum