So long Tom Brady

Looks like Tom Brady is bidding his farewell to the NFL. Well winning four of six superbowls isn't a bad way to gol.

Maybe he'll take Lebron with him.

I didn't know Brady was leaving. Considering he's a multimillionaire, he doesn't really need the work. LeBron might switch from basketball to acting. They say he enjoyed being in that movie "Train Wreck" with Amy Schumer.

Yeah, great actor he is...playing himself. I bet that took a lot of prep work.

If he likes acting, though, he'll move from Cleveland to Gollywood!

Then the Kadashians can all have him...if they haven't had him already.

I'm sure he's already paid all of them a "visit"!

He'd better watch it. They might cause him to turn jenner!

LeBronica, maybe??

STOP! You're scaring me!

No need to be scared. Give the media a couple of weeks and they'll come out with some new and totally idiotic story to amuse us with! Maybe two headed land sharks?

LeBronica would probably look the same as Dennis Rodman in his wedding gown...or, is that Denise Rodman?

I think Rodman is so bizarre that even the transgender groups want nothing to do with him!

I have a Dennis Rodman doll all decked out in his wedding dress. I'll have to check if the value has gone up any on it.
I wonder if there will be a Bruce/Caityn Jenner transformer doll will be made.

Oh, they will! As soon as someone can figure out how to make it anatomically correct!

Maybe they can make it like a Mr. Potato Head doll...and you can just snap on or snap off the parts you want...or don't want.

Hmmmm....Mr. Potato head with an attachable carrot stick???

good grief, that's just....yuck...

I think I need another brew to wash that out of my head!!

NOOOO!!!! The carrot stick is for his NOSE!

His nose? Well, then he can....

no, that's a joke I just can't tell!

That's right! You need to set a good example for the other Bashervillians!

You're right! So, good, safe advice for virtual townspeople:

Never drive or operate heavy machinery under the influence of intoxicants.
DO consume intoxicants in the safety of your home, with friends and while tuned in to, say, a baseball game or other sporting event.

Never go online to contact an old girlfriend in the presence of your wife or present girlfriend.
DO tell jokes about old girlfriends when intoxicated, watching a sporting event and NOT in the presence of wife or present girlfriend.

After drinking intoxicating beverages at a social gathering of friends, be sure to keep your address in large, printed type to hand to the guy dropping you off (who presumably will deposit you at your door) so you don't accidentally try and enter your neighbor's house at 3 AM (you know, the guy who's 6'4"/235 lbs., owns guns and has a Doberman named "Slasher")!

Thaaaat...wasn't quite what I meant.

How about this one?
Never serve a beer to friends that you wouldn't drink yourself.
or
If your beer is inferior and lacks a kick, add a shot of cheap gin!