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Jokes That Make You Blush...

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76 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:12 am

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

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77 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:57 am

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
I passed this along yesterday coast-to-coast. Got lots of laughs! Especially from a guy whose wife's name is Carol!

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78 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Dec 21, 2015 9:56 am

Yeah, there's some good ones floating around out there.

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79 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:38 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
The best ones I've gotten lately are actually pretty clean!

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80 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:11 am

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of
their car which said:
Two Prostitutes
- $50.00
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them, and told them
they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
At that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"Jesus Saves."

One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you
don't stop them?”

"Well, that's a little different," the officer
said. "Their sign pertains to religion."

The following day the same police officer noticed the same
two hookers driving around with a large sign on their car.
He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new
sign:

Two Fallen Angels

Seeking Peter

-- $50.00


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81 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:57 am

Good one...and another I haven't heard before!

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82 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:34 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Yep, I saw this car cruising the outskirts of Basherville!

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83 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:46 am

They know they aren't allowed in Basherville.

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84 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Fri Dec 25, 2015 6:15 am

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
It's Christmas, so I brought them some fruitcake and rum!

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85 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Dec 27, 2015 12:35 am

Hydekelso

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Knight
Knight
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila floor!!!!

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86 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Dec 27, 2015 5:31 am

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Sounds like a good New Years recipe!!

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87 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Fri May 13, 2016 6:24 pm

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88 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun May 15, 2016 6:33 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
I have passed this around and the females love it! Us guys are kind of unsure....but we laughed anyway!

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89 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sat May 21, 2016 10:43 pm

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, “Chickens.””

Chickens, eh?” says one guy. “Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?”

“Heck,” says the guy with the bag, “iffin you guess right, I’ll give you both of ‘em.”

The other scratches his head and guesses, “Um… is it five?”

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90 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun May 22, 2016 5:30 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
LOL! Any smart redneck knows the answer is 3!

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91 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon May 23, 2016 11:20 am

Gotta love them good ol' boys!

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92 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon May 23, 2016 1:05 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Years ago I took a semester off to get some more green to continue my edu-ca-tion. I worked for about 6 months in an insulation factory. One of the foremen, Leonard, was a good ole boy with a great sense of humour. He used to say that he had 13 kids and wasn't sure how many were his. We thought that was funny. Then one day as we were getting off the graveyard shift, the other foreman on the day shift told us that he didn't mean it as a joke, he was serious!

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93 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Tue May 24, 2016 11:37 am

Where was Maury when he needed him??? LOL!!!

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94 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Thu May 26, 2016 5:06 am

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
I think Maury gets his "guests' from places like that!

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95 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Mon Jun 13, 2016 1:36 pm

Hey Alain....here's one you can pass on to all of your prostitute friends!

A doctor asked a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the Father is?"
The prostitute replies, "Oh for goodness sake, if you ate a can of beans,
would you know which one made you fart?"

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96 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Wed Jun 15, 2016 1:12 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
I will! I'm going to send it to my Senators and Representatives, too, since they kind of fit the definition of "prostitute"!

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97 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:18 am

lol!

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98 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Fri Jun 17, 2016 6:54 pm

AlainM3C

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Basherville Sheriff
Basherville Sheriff
Ya know, "LOL" is exactly what my Senator said!

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99 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:43 am

I thought he would have had the same reaction as your broker had with that other joke....'Who snitched?'

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100 Re: Jokes That Make You Blush... on Sun Jun 19, 2016 2:36 am

Hydekelso

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Knight
Knight
I like the BBTheory episode where (sp?) where is Sheldon is doing a radio broadcast and he starts talking like a chipmonk, due to Kripkey's pumping helium into where Sheldon is speaking.

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