BIZARRE SEX TALES!!

Well, I don't know for sure about where the P'burghers got educated about such things. I was actually brought up just outside of D.C. My wife imported me (cheaper than mail order!) Now, in the District, we learned about sex in an area known as "14th Street". Or by calling Congressmen. Turns out they know a LOT about Bizarre Sex!

I was reading an article about a dolphin trainer in some dog-eared copy of an old animal magazine whilst I was at the barber shop. This lady had a male dolphin that apparently had 'needs' now and again. The lady trainer obligingly handled the situation manually. No word on if the dolphin somehow returned the favour.

I just looked at Huck's post about Honey the Boo Boo's Mom getting a Marilyn Monroe make over. "Sugar Bear", proud Papa of the various spawn, proclaimed that this turned him into a "Horny Bear". Now, I want you to imagine a frantic coupling of "Mama" and "Sugar Bear".

Remember to flush the toilet when you're done talking to Ralph in the Porcelin Palace.

Wild Wives of Africa-Bonobo Love. It's what's playing on YouTube in Lagos!

Talk about some really lazy monkeys!

There has been little bizarre sex lately. Today is Valentine's Day. Let the good times roll!

Still no sex? C'mon, people! Let's get out there and fornicate!

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex


Oh...and just so you know, that song is banned in Basherville!

Unfortunately, Basher and I's homemade sex tape in Mexico hit a snag when we accidentally went over budget. The problem was trying to translate to all the locals who were assisting as stand-in stunt doubles. Every time the director (Basher) would scream for Pedro to come in the back door, the poor little sap would take off running around the backside of the house

LOL!!!

I'll bet Lil' Pedro really would have freaked out when you brought in the donkey!

"Lil' Pedro" HEY! That is the name of Ejack's....uh...Man-O-Man, I sure miss Ejack!!!

He'd get more action if it was named "Big Pedro"!

But then, he'd get sued for false advertising and misrepresentation.

Would it be a case for 'small claims' court?

Yeah, I think it would...LOL!

Trials like that can be tricky. You may end up with a well hung jury...

Maybe I should check their briefs.

New reality show, "Judge Johnson"?

Ron Jeremy should host his own reality show. With frequent guests like Nina Hartley, Tom Byron, Joey Buttafucco etc.

That would get some high ratings!

A warning to neighbors: Please wait until our window air conditioner is up and running before engaging in your late night game of 'Rodeo'. By the way, which one of you is the snorting horse?

I'm sorry, it was just one of those dreams again...I know I talk in my sleep, but I was unaware of how vocal I can be.

Keep dreaming and keep talking!!

My talking in my sleep is the reason I would never sleep on a Greyhound bus or airplane. We flew all the way to London, and I wouldn't go to sleep. Nope, no siree...what's in my head, stays in my head!

You're right! Only sleep at home where you're assured of privacy! Just ignore my little stethoscope discretely placed up on your window...